Vaporize Climate Change

Vaporize Climate Change

 

By Lou Ford

The entire state is burning. California is burning. The skies are a pungent orangish red that belches out noxious smoke and ash like lunch lady on a smoke break. Towns are being turned to rubble and  smoldering ash , as the residents watch in horror. This terrible event has been explained in many different ways; dry fields and wooded areas that are like tinderboxes that ignite easily, or a drought that has brought on unbearable heat, resulting in the burning of thousands of acres of land. There is also the reality of arson. That being said, there is no denying that the dramatic climate changes are a tremendous catalyst for that and other environmental disasters that are occurring. The result of this could be detrimentally life-changing for our nation. We could have our own Somalia. 

 

Throughout history, environmental factors have created disasters that have had far-reaching consequences; wars, displacement, government collapse, and death. Mother Nature has been both a nurturing mother and a backstabbing bitch. The one thing that has been the reality is that nations like Canada and the U.S. have for the most part been shielded from the ravages of the elements. There has always been a surplus, and even when there were shortages it wasn’t so extreme that it would result in political upheaval, or a battle for resources that would make a region unstable. That may change with the rapid changes in the weather that are now beating our  nation into eventual submission. What will happen when those let say from California can no longer live in their habitats due to firey skies that are oranger than our president’s skin? When those people leave and go looking for a more promising future in another city or another state, what will be the consequences? When Resources become strained how will that be dealt with? 

 

The fact is that as the climate changes and more extreme natural disasters occur, the fewer resources we will have. When a river overflows and ends up flowing into a Reservoir possible containing the local water supply, how will it be dealt with then? When cities become overcrowded, the shortages of jobs, the competition for those jobs, and the resulting increase in poverty, how will our nation be able to effectively deal with that crisis? What will be the result of these issues on our community's social structures? Will those refugees be the scapegoat of anger that is the result of an already strained system? Research has shown that it has played a part. So what do we do? Well, I think I got an idea on how to resolve that problem. 

 

A thermonuclear winter. 

Now I know that sounds a bit extreme and insane, but listen as far as we are concerned we are already too late. Let us be real here oil has transformed our society; it has enabled us to progress in so many ways. It fueled industrial revolutions and the war machines that have beat back despots who would have destroyed the world as we know it. Right now the world is too invested and dependent on oil to be able to make much of a difference. So, I say rather than fret about it we just get it over with. I call it the old yeller plan. See in the book old yeller, the main character’s dog gets rabies, and rather than let it fester, the boy decides to just put a bullet in his brain. The same idea could be said here. 

 

My thoughts are this; when we already know to some degree that it is over, why are we trying to put in the work for a possible hopeless case? Why put in that ultimately fruitless work when we can have fun. You know that thrilling feeling you get when see fireworks being set off, or when you do it? Well, just think of how much fun we’ll have when we get to see those high mushroom clouds fill the sky. Instead of being burdened with the fear of the rise in temperatures resulting in insane weather, flooding, displacement, poverty, and conflict we can relax.  Instead, we can just sit back and enjoy the pyrotechnic displays. 

 

I have always been told that a tan was the best way to look attractive and healthy. So why fear the end of the world when we can just sit back, throw on a pair of shades, and bask in white flashing heat as the image of a mushroom cloud is branded into our sunglass lenses as well as our retinas. And as we sun ourselves we can enjoy that radiant radioactive heat as it gently bakes us until our skins are nicely toasted with the harsh but loving kisses of Radioactive energy. Energy that will turn our hides into ash while we smile. With the end of the world coming soon why not have a little fun.